Mark Twain's Birthday

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Mark Twain, born as Samuel Clemmons on November 30, 1835

Live Fully

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." - Mark Twain

Worst Loneliness

"The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself." - Mark Twain

A Compliment

"If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one." - Mark Twain

Be Careful

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain

Get What They Want Out Of Life

"I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want." - Mark Twain

Cheer

"The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up." - Mark Twain

Hustle While You Wait

"Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits." - Thomas A. Edison

Make A Difference

"It's easy to make a buck, but hard to make a difference." - Tom Brokaw

Happy With Who You Are

"Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have." - Zig Ziglar

First Victory

Our team won it's first basketball game at home today 31 to 16 versus St. Joseph's. We dominated on offense and our shooting was awesome. Almost everyone scored. It should be a good season. Let's see how we do against St. Francis next week. We celebrated with dinner at Pizza Hut.

Biggest Room

"The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement." - Unknown

Television Is More Interesting

"Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms." - Alan Corenk

Joy In Religion

"If there is not joy in religion, you have got a leak in your religion." - Billy Sunday

Involve Me

"Tell me, I'll forget. Show me, I may remember. But involve me, and I'll understand." - Chinese Proverb

50 Years

The whole family went out for dinner at Olive Garden for my parents 50th wedding anniversary. I can't believe they've been married 50 years what a milestone. We stuffed ourselves again. 13 of us spent two hours eating appetizers, breadsticks, salad, our meals and desserts. Afterwards we went to Steve and LeAnn's to look at pictures of their new nephew. The boys played pool and we listened to some Badfinger and talked.

We watched the movie "Trainspotting" when we got home. We could barely understand the Scottish accents. It's was pretty depressing watching the main characters waste their lives shooting up on heroin.

The Turkey Song

Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey
'Cause it's good
Love to eat turkey
Like a good boy should
'Cause it's turkey to eat
So good Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let's eat the turkey in my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey at the table
I once saw a movie with Betty Grable
Eat that turkey all night long
Fifty million Elvis fans can't be wrong
Turkey turkey doo and turkey turkeydap
I eat that turkey then I take a nap
Thanksgiving is a special night
Jimmy Walker used to say "Dynomite"
That's right turkey with gravy and cranberry
Can't believe the Mets traded Darryl Strawberry
Turkey for you and turkey for me
Can't believe Tyson gave that girl V.D.
White meat, dark meat
You just can't lose
I fell off my moped
And I got a bruise
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster
I'll never take down my Cheryl Tiegs poster
Wrap the turkey up In aluminum foil
My brother like to masturbate with baby oil
Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy Davis Jr. only had one eye
Turkey for the girls and turkey for the boys
My favorite kind of pant are corduroys
Gobble gobble goo and gobble gobble gickel
I wish turkey only cost a nickel
Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving

- Adam Sandler

Present Blessings

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." - Charles Dickens

Thanksgiving

Things to Lighten Up Thanksgiving

1. During the middle of the meal, turn to your mother and say, "See, mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for nothing."
2. When everyone goes around to say what they are thankful for, say, "I am thankful I didn't get caught" -- and leave it at that.
3. Load your plate up high. Then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it is the new "Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake".
4. Prepare a several hour long speech to give when asked about your thankfulness. If necessary, insist that no one leave or eat until you have finished the speech.
5. Bring along old recorded football games and pop them in the VCR when your father is not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game when he comes into the room. Then turn off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.
6. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms. Request that she bring photos

The Secretary

We watched a bizarre movie called "The Secretary" with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
There's a hot scene with Maggie at the end.

Synopsis

Lee Holloway (Maggie Gyllenhaal) has a few strikes against her when she applies for a secretarial position at the law office of E. Edward Grey (James Spader). First, she was released only recently from a mental institution; second, after only one day back with her dysfunctional suburban family, she has already succumbed to her secret, self-destructive habit - cutting. Although she's never had a job in her life, Lee is hired by the mysterious lawyer, Mr. Grey. At first the work seems quite normal but soon, in between typing, filing and coffee-making, Lee and Mr. Grey embark on a more personal relationship altogether, crossing lines of conduct that would give any human resource director the vapors.

The Brain

"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost

The Human Brain

"The human brain is like a railroad freight car - guaranteed to have a certain capacity but often running empty." - Unknown

You Are A Full-Length Novel

"You are a blank page. When you are ready to die, you are a full-length novel." - Jihan Zubi

The Beaten Path

"The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible." - Jeff Taylor

What You Believe

"What you believe, you become." - Buddha

Used Book Fact

Most books being sold in used book stores are selling for less than the cost of publishing them.

First Loss

Our team lost their first game today against St. Mary's 13 to 8. They played a good game. Our shots just weren't going in. We only have six players and they got kind of tired. My youngest son is out for two games with a bad ankle. We miss his height and rebounding. Only one practice this week on Tuesday night. We will have to work on shooting, passing and rebounding. We had dinner at T.G.I. Fridays after the game.

Be

"If you want to be happy, be." - Henry David Thoreau

In Good Company

I watched two good movies - "Devil In A Blue Dress" with Denzel Washington and "In Good Company" with Dennis Quaid. I wanted to see "Devil In A Blue Dress" because I'm reading Walter Mosley's books and it's based on his detective character Easy Rawlins from his first novel. It was a good action movie and now when I read the books I'll be able to visualize Easy (Denzel Washington) and Mouse (Don Cheadle.) I'm on my third book of his. I finished his newest one "Cinnamon Kiss" and the one before it "Little Scarlet." I'm reading them backwards. "In Good Company" had a good story about the effects of corporate takeovers on people. There were some funny parts and it had a good ending.

Synopsis - "In Good Company"

Dan Foreman (Dennis Quaid) is headed for a shakeup. He is demoted from head of ad sales for a major magazine when the company he works for is acquired in a corporate takeover. His new boss, Tom (Topher Grace) is half his age -- a business school prodigy who preaches corporate Synergy. While Dan develops clients through handshake deals and relationships, Tom cross-promotes the magazine with the cell phone division and "Krispity Krunch," an indeterminate snack food under the same corporate umbrella. Both men are going through turmoil at home. Dan has two daughters - Alex, age 18, and Jana, age 16 - and is shocked when his wife tells him she's pregnant with a new child. Between college tuition, the mortgage and a new baby, Dan can't afford to lose his job in the wave of corporate layoffs. Tom, in the meanwhile, is dumped by his wife of seven months just as he gets his promotion. Dan and Tom's uneasy friendship is thrown into jeopardy when Tom falls for, and begins an affair with, Dan's daughter Alex (Scarlett Johansson).

Synopsis - "Devil In A Blue Dress"

"Easy" Rawlins (Denzel Washington), a black World War II veteran in 1948 Los Angeles, becomes an accidental private eye in this stylish period drama set against Los Angeles's lush jazz scene. When a corrupt politician shows up in his neighborhood looking for help tracking down a mysterious missing white woman, Daphne Monet (Jennifer Beals), it leads to blackmail and murder Based on the novel by Walter Mosley, Carl Franklin's film is an original twist on the film noir/private detective genre, featuring an unforgettable supporting turn by "Mouse" (Don Cheadle)

Yesterday

"Don't let yesterday use up too much of today." - Cherokee Indian Proverb

Giving

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” - Anne Frank

Beauty That Still Remains

"I don't think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains." - Anne Frank

Man At The Top Of A Mountain

"Remember when you see a man at the top of a mountain, he didn't fall there." - Unknown

Small Stones

"The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." - Anonymous

The Days Are Too Short

"The days are too short even for love; how can there be enough time for quarreling?" - Margaret Gatty

Some Axioms

1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
7. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
8. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
9. Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
10. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
11. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
12. She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
16. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
17. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
18. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.
19. Just remember… if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
20. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
21. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
22. You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
23. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.
24. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
25. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
26. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
27. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
28. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
29. Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
30. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
31. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
32. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
33. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Dictionary & Thesaurus Site

Online Dictionary & Thesaurus

English, Medical, Legal, and Computer Dictionaries, Thesaurus, Encyclopedia, a Literature Reference Library, and a Search Engine all in one.

Thesaurus

"What's another word for Thesaurus?" - Steven Wright

Open Mind

"I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out." - Stephen Wright

Sign In Park

"Leave nothing but footprints... Take nothing but pictures... Kill nothing but time." - Unknown

Mimes

"If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?" - Steven Wright

Parentheses

"If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses." - Steven Wright

Dictionary

"If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?" - Steven Wright

" "

" " — Marcel Marceau

Oreos

Oreos Still King of Cookies Market

Chicago Tribune Published November 12, 2005

Granola bar sales are booming, especially in Los Angeles. Lay's rules the potato chip market, but not in Philadelphia or Baltimore. And Oreos are the top-selling cookie, period. Those are some of the findings of a study of snack sales over the last year in U.S. supermarkets, compiled by Chicago-based Information Resources Inc. While the market research firm didn't provide any commentary with the study, the results show granola bars to be the fastest-growing snack category in the nine metropolitan areas where data were compiled. The study comes with Americans consuming fewer cookies and trying to eat healthier snacks. The IRI data show that longtime brand juggernauts such as Oreos, Ritz, Lay's and Doritos continue to be the No. 1-selling cookie, cracker, potato chip and tortilla chip, respectively.

I work for a company that processes data for IRI.

Coaches Clinic

I went to the basketball coach's clinic this morning from 11:00 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. They had the girl's varsity coach from Montini show us some plays. He brought along six of his players and they ran through some formations and plays. I picked up a couple things to tell our boys. I don't want to make it too complicated for them. Spacing and communication will be very important. I got a couple of ideas for inbound plays too.

Sideways

I checked out the DVD and finally got to see the movie "Sideways" last night. It was good but it wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. On the DVD case it said "Best Comedy of The Year." Virginia Madsen was hot. It dragged in a couple of areas but it was a good story. One part where they tried to crash the car really had me laughing. The ending left me hanging. I imagine there are people out there who are into wine that much. I would never be able to drink that much wine. I think back to the time I visited Napa Valley and visited four or five wineries - Christian Brothers, Robert Mondavi and some others. It was scenic driving past the vineyards and it's a beautiful area of California. I can remember feeling pretty good after only a couple of tastings.

Synopsis

A wine tasting road trip to salute Jack's (Thomas Haden Church) final days as a bachelor careens woefully sideways as he and Miles (Paul Giamatti) hit the gas en route to mid-life crises. The comically mismatched pair, who share little more than their history and a heady blend of failed potential and fading youth, soon find themselves drowning in wine and women (Sandra Oh and Virginia Madsen). Emerging from a haze of pinot noir, wistful yearnings and trepidation about the future, the two inevitably collide with reality.

Do The Impossible

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible." - Walt Disney

Doing The Impossible

"Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you're doing the impossible." - St. Francis of Assisi

Second Practice

We had our second practice tonight. We went through our drills and had a long scrimmage with the 7th grade B-1 Team. We are about evenly matched and played almost 45 minutes. There were a couple of injury scares. We can't afford to lose any players. It was another good workout. The boys are almost ready to play. I got our schedule and found out tonight we only have two more practices before our first game on Sunday, November 20th. We play ten games total through the first week of February. The boys got to pick up their uniforms and I handed out a sheet on player responsibilities.

My Best Friend

"My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!" - Henry Ford

Friends

"In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends." - John Churton Collins

First Practice

We had our first basketball practice tonight. Our team only has six players this year. Two dropped out. We stretched, ran some dribbling, passing, rebounding and shooting drills and played some knockout. We were able to scrimmage the 6th grade A-1 team and did pretty well. The boys got a pretty good workout. One good thing this year is all of our practices are on our home court and at the same times each week. It should be a great season.

Whiskey Sour

I finished reading "Whiskey Sour" by J.A. Konrath. It was a very good quick read. There were some sick gruesome parts. I hope he doesn't give some nutcases any ideas. I'm looking forward to reading "Bloody Mary." I like reading books based in the Chicago area because I can visualize where they are.

I checked out "Cinnamon Kiss" by Walter Mosley and I'm about half way through. He was one of the authors recommended in "More Book Lust." I'm gonna work backward through his books.

Right Track

"Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there." - Will Rogers

Inspiration

"Inspiration is the greatest gift because it opens your life to many new possibilities. Each day becomes more meaningful and your life is enhanced when your actions are guided by what inspires you. True inspiration overrides all fears. When you are inspired you enter a trance state and can accomplish things that you may never have felt capable of doing."

Question you want to ask yourself:
"What is the purpose of being alive and living on this planet?"

"It is most often found when you share your unique loving acts with others. Be inspired by people like Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Albert Schweitzer, Helen Keller and many others. Bring your enthusiasm for life with you everywhere you go and it will be contagious. People who truly inspire have an inner beauty. They have overcome major obstacles in their lives and learned how to accomplish meaningful change.

What awakens your spirit? Find a way to bring it into your life. If possible, make it the way you earn your living. If you do, you will never have to work a day in your life. At the very least find the time in your life to have the time of your life." - Dr. Bernie S. Siegel

What Really Knocks Me Out

"What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it." - J.D. Salinger

Embrace Your Uniqueness

Embrace your uniqueness. Time is much too short to be living someone else's life." - Kobi Yamada

More Book Lust

I finished reading "More Book Lust" by Nancy Pearl. It gave me some ideas for books to read. How cool is it to have a job reading books and make money selling books about it. Where do I sign up? Some authors she mentions who I haven't read - Bill Bryson, Lee Child, Peter DeVries, Michael Malone, Betty MacDonald, Walter Mosley, Stephen Potter, Mark Salzman, Carol Shields, Nevil Shute, Neal Stephenson, Barbara W. Tuchman and Jonathan Weiner. She turned me on to Frederick Busch last year when I read her first book "Book Lust." She gave me more than enough ideas for the next year. Sometimes I'm just overwhelmed and can't figure out what to read next and other times I have three or four books waiting to be read. I know I will never read every book I own.

I went to the annual book sale again at our library. I got there a few minutes early and you would think it was a world premiere or something. The bookbuyers had their bags lined up by the doors waiting for them to be unlocked. It wasn't as bad of a feeding frenzy as last year. The collectors really work fast. Bing bang and they already have 20 to 30 books. I ended up only buying two books again this year and encyclopedia on the Chicago Cubs and a paperback book for my sons. I spent $3.25. I almost bought a copy of "Angels and Demons" for $.50 but the pages were falling out.

A Man Is A Sucess

"A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to." - Bob Dylan

Advice

"Doubt your doubts and go with what you know." - Unknown

Mistakes

"Learn from other people's mistakes, you can't make them all yourself." - Unknown

What You Can Do

"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." - John Wooden