St. Titleist

The Gospel According to St. Titleist Funny Golf Quotes

"May thy ball lie in green pastures - and not in still waters." - Author Unknown

"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course." - Billy Graham

"Golf appeals to the idiot and the child in us. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five." - John Updike

"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is." - Horace G. Hutchinson

"If you drink, don't drive - Don't even putt." - Dean Martin

"If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy going back to pick it up." - Tommy Bolt

"Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one." - Author Unknown

"I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced." - Bob Hope

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." - Jack Lemmon

"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." - Mark Twain

"Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them." - Jimmy DeMaret

"Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe." - Author Unknown